[haley.jackson]

Hello everyone, my name is Haley Jackson and I'm 15 and I'm from North Carolina. I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when I was 5 years old.. I remeber constantly drinking and wetting the bed at night. My mom didn't know what was wrong so she took me to the clinic and they sent me to the hospital. In March of 2005 only a month before my birthday I was diagnosed. Of course my whole family was shocked. I would cry myself to sleep with my mom because I didn't understand why all the doctors were poking me with needles. Then a doctor came in and explained to my mom what carbs were and how to count them and add up medicine and everything. But I was still clueless I was 5.. I remember going back to school and my teacher would cry her eyes out trying to give me a shot but by then I was used to them. Around 2007 my mom got a call that my dad was in the hospital. We soon learned that he was found laying in his closet on the verge of death. My dads sugar had dropped down to 17. When the doctors arrived it took 3 police men to pry his arms away from his body. Then after a few weeks from getting back home his body started shutting down. (Because he never took care of his diabetes) he only checked his sugar once or twice a day and would only take medicine when he ate. And didn't count carbs or anything. Since then my dad has became legally blind and he can never walk again. But back to me, my fifth grade year was the year the changed everything for me. On one of the very first days of school around lunch time I had to leave class early to go get take my medicine. On my way out the door. One kid asked where I was going and the teacher said I was going to take my medicine. And these words ruined my life.. "why is she like allergic to people?" And the whole class started looking and laughing at me. I sat and cried and never told anybody when I did. All year people made fun of me and it was awful. I switched schools and since then I've been trying to hide my diabetes from everybody except from people that are really close to me. Now that I try to hide it it's caused me to become a really bad diabetic. My AIC has stayed around the 11-12 area, I only check my sugar 2 maybe 3 times a day. I get teary eyed I always start to feel bad about myself when I hear the word diabetes and I've always felt alone. No matter how many times I hear "your not alone" "I'm here for you" and stuff I know I'm alone. None of my friends or family has been what I've been through. Nobody can tell me how it feels because they don't know how it feels to be a diabetic. My question is.. " how can I learn to accept myself as a diabetic and how can I tell people without being embarrassed about it"

[dano]

Haley;

Welcome to the Forum!

Diabetes is nothing to be ashamed of. The control and management of this disease is something that we all have to do to survive. There are several threads in the Type 1 section concerning your same problems. Look for a Diabetes Support Group in your area. No one understands what you are going through better than those that have gone through the exact same thing.